When Worlds Collide: Reid's Rebellion
by mabelreid
Summary: One shot: Reid doesn't believe he's getting a good story arc in the Feb sweeps as promised by TPTB, so he goes on strike with a few thousand fan girls. This is a parody and a bit of a crack fic! Please see the authors note within.


**_Disclaimer: see my profile_**

**_A/n this is a parody along the lines of my "When Worlds Collide," story. The author may insert herself into the story, or the characters may know they are fictional and act accordingly. In this case, Reid is fed up by the announcement that he's going to have an emotional story arc in Feb sweeps. Actually, this author will believe it when she sees it in Feb due to the fact that TPTB always tease us with something good and it turns out to be more angst, but I digress... This is a Parody of sorts, so be on the look out for massive OOC behavior! _**

When Worlds Collide: Reid's Rebellion

When his alarm sounded, he lay listening to it for a few seconds before, stretching, sighing and turning over to slap it off. He turned back and closed his eyes. A couple extra hours of sleep were just what the doctor ordered on that cold February morning.

Two hours later, he opened his eyes and reached for his ringing cell phone. He tapped a button to send it to voicemail and switched it to vibrate. He stretched again and realized it was full light in the room. He looked at the clock and saw that it was a little after nine am. A small part of him panicked, but he tamped it down by remembering that today was _the_ day.

He decided to get up and take a shower because he couldn't sleep anymore and his stomach was growling.

When he finished with his shower, he found three text messages on his phone from Hotch demanding he call. He didn't call. He left the phone on vibrate and went to make a decent breakfast.

The view outside his window was grey and ugly as he cracked eggs to scramble, but inside it was sunshine because he was finally taking a stand against the powers that be. He'd decided he'd had enough and it was time to say when. For the first time in his life, he was taking control.

He was just about to sit down to his breakfast when someone knocked on his door; or rather, they banged on his door with enough force to express extreme displeasure.

"I know you're in there," Morgan shouted.

Reid cursed under his breath and took his plate to his little kitchen table and sat down.

"Damn it, Reid."

"Go away," Reid, hollered back.

"Open the door, I'll kick it down."

"Go away, or I'll call the police," Reid called back.

"Reid!"

He stormed across the living room with his fists clenched at his sides. "I said go away," he repeated after yanking open the door.

"What are you doing? Hotch is ready to chew nails and spit staples and you're sitting here as though nothing's wrong."

Reid blocked the door despite the way Morgan glowered at him. "I don't care what he thinks. I'm not going in today. I already told Hotch, but he didn't want to hear it."

"Do you really want to have this discussion in the hallway for everyone to hear?"

A woman came out of the apartment down the hall. She winked at Reid and eyed Morgan up and down. "Hi there, Spencer. Who's your friend?"

"Sorry, Karen, gotta go," Reid said and pulled Morgan inside.

"Hey," his friend complained. "I thought you didn't want me in here."

"I don't have a choice. She's the worst gossip in the building."

"Then come with me. You won't have to worry about it if you just go to work."

"I'm not going in."

"You know, I never figured you for a whiner."

"Insulting me isn't helping your case."

"Reid, Hotch is on the warpath. I'm here because we're family, kid. I don't want to see you get fired."

"I don't care if I get fired. You saw what the new script. Once again, it's all about the angst for me. They keep promising me a great story, but it's all smoke and mirrors. You saw the latest on the fan sites. They want to know what's going to happen to me and the only thing the powers that be can say is that February is sweeps month and that means some emotional stuff for me. What does that even mean?" He threw out his arms in disgust.

"Reid -"

"Come on, Morgan, you know it's all about something terrible happening to me. When was the last time I got a happy ending?"

Morgan only stood there, so Reid nodded and said. "See, I told you. You can't name one time."

"The ratings are always highest in February and it's all due to you, kid. The fans love it." Morgan reminded him.

"That just goes to show what you know. Do you even pay attention to the fan sites?"

"You can't argue with ratings. That's all that matters on television."

"I know that, Morgan, but I don't have to like it."

"Come on, there has to be one story line you enjoyed."

"No!" He began to enumerate on his fingers "First, and foremost, I watched my girlfriend murdered in front of me."

"Reid -"

"I was made an addict by a psycho with three personalities," Reid went on as if Morgan wasn't there. "I've been shot, exposed to a deadly disease, kidnapped, lied to about the so-called death of one of my best friends, and lost Gideon."

"That's true but I don't understand what that has to do with your attitude."

"Because every time I'm promised a "big emotional arc," or a chance to "express my true feelings," I get reactions like, "don't give me another ulcer, or you're just mad because Hotch and I controlled our micro expressions."

"Reid, you're making me tired."

"Sorry," he said sarcastically. "I didn't know this is about you."

"So you're really going to blow off work because your story lines a bit lacking lately."

"Lately…" Reid squeaked. "It's been lacking for years, Morgan."

"Why don't you come down to Quantico with me and we'll talk to Hotch and -?"

Reid's phone beeped. He read the text and smiled broadly. "I think that's a great idea," he agreed as he rapidly answered the text.

Morgan narrowed his eyes. "Why are you suddenly so willing to go to work?"

Reid smirked. "You'll see."

CMCMCMCMCM

"What the hell is all this?"

Reid nearly laughed at the irritation on Morgan's face. "My fans are revolting," Reid said.

"What?"

"Squeaking doesn't become you," he said to his friend. "Let me out here," he ordered when they managed to get into the parking lot with the help of some of the base's military personnel.

"No way, kid. Those fan girls will eat you alive. Remember what happened a few years ago when the fan fiction plot bunnies went insane and tired to take over our universe."

"So what?"

"They made the fan girls nearly kill you with their enthusiasm. How do you know it's not happening again?"

"Because MabelReid assured me it wouldn't when she and REIDFANATIC set up this protest."

"How do you know you can trust them? Isn't MabelReid the one that wrote the story about you and that psycho woman that kidnapped you and -"

"Yeah, but that was just a fan fiction story. It wasn't real." Reid interrupted.

"What about REIDFANATIC? She's the one that gave you a girlfriend, and then had that girlfriend almost killed in a car wreck, then she got pregnant and had to have her appendix out and then the kid is kidnapped after she's born? What is up with that?"

"Yeah, but at least I get a happy endings with her stories. I'm out of here."

Reid opened the door and stepped out. Morgan winced as what seemed like a thousand fan girls tried to storm the gates. They only stopped when a few dozen Marines presented their weapons and Reid said. "Ladies, please." He held up his hands.

They stopped and their excited voices trailed off to a silence that impressed Morgan, as did their lack of trying to tear Reid's clothes off.

"I'm joining the picket lines." Reid shouted and the girls began to cheer.

Two of the fan girls linked up their arms with him and they all began to chant. "Oh no, we won't go," over and over.

Morgan pulled out his cell phone. "Hey, Hotch, I'm down in the parking lot. Yeah, I got Reid, but he's joined the protest. Yeah, I don't think the Marines are going to be able to handle this. You better have the director call in the National Guard as a precaution."

He put his phone away and sighed. He'd always wanted Reid to be popular with the ladies, but this was ridiculous. Still, he had to admit that Reid had a point and after all, if you can't beat 'em, you might as well join 'em.

He took a discarded sign that one of the women had dropped when taking Reid's arm and joined in the marching. He could use a day off.


End file.
